Love is...

So many thoughts have been passing inside me lately.  Like what is really important to me.  Friends, family, religion, school, grades, work, running... which do you place before the other.  How do you know if you made the right decision. 

You hear that another person will be happy for you if they truly care.  But is there a little grudge inside for being placed second?  When is it that you know something needs to come before another. 

For example, I already lost my dad, two grandpas, one grandma, and many other relatives.  Then shouldn't it hit me that family is number one.  I should have made it to my cousin's bridal shower this weekend.  Yet, I stayed back to work. 

Another example is a friend is going to AZ and Heidi is going to SF.  I definitely have not spent sufficient time with them.  Sometimes it was for school work or work.  Now I am losing friends to distance. 

How about school.  I constantly am trying to improve my grades.  For instance, I received a 4.0 this semester.  Sure it made me proud, but what will it get me?  More friends? Doubtful.  More money?  Rare.  Happiness?  Only in a small passing. 

So yes, my priorities are a bit skewed at the moment.  I struggle with this.  At the moment I think that the material items are so inticing.  However, these things pass.  I was already laid off of work at age 23.  So work passes.  But why do I try to impress a place that can instantly cut the string to my existance?  What will be my rock of stability? Family, friends, faith...  These three have not faultered.  But yet, they have... my family has changed, my friends have moved, and my faith has been through the ringer because of these.  So what can I rely on?  Is this why I have placed some important people not in their respected positions?  Is it because if I lose those them than I will be really hurt?  Maybe...

Love is patient.  Love is kind. 
Please be kind and patient for I am trying to gather my thoughts about life.