Why I run.

This post will explain why I am insist on "Emily" time each day...

I run. I run for a long time. I have been doing this for 4.5 years. It has gotten in sticky situations and sometimes I fear I will begin to go back to my previous state because today's situations.
Overwhelmed. I run when I'm overwhelmed. I find this a better alternative than eating a tub of ice cream or crying. I can sort my thoughts. Right now trying to juggle school and my three jobs and socializing, I become overwhelmed. Walking on the sidewalks there are times when I just feel like screaming or just sitting down to surrender. But, than where would that get me??
Hurt. If I feel as if I got hurt emotionally by an individual I run. Sometimes people make nasty comments about smarts or looks I get hurt. I hate to talk back because I feel it does not get me anywhere and I only stoop to their level. Therefore, I run to clear my mind.
Creativeness. When I run I can reflect upon ideas and generate new ones. Some of my best ideas are made from runs. I am currently in a design class and I brainstorm for an hour about what my assignment will look like. It works and saves me a ton of time in class because I have an already prethought idea.
Reflect. So five years ago my dad passed away. During each run I reflect upon that night when everything changed in my life. Everything from the sound of the collapse, to me calling 911, to me trying to revive him, to telling my sister and mom to pray, to seeing my brother walk in with Keith his roommate. I still remember everything so vividly. I force myself to remember that night and prior events because I am afraid I will forget his attitude, quotes, and his voice. I do not tell people about Dad because I fear I will be given the sympathy card. I hate hearing I'm sorry or even worse I understand. No one understands, because no one goes through the same situation. I just want to be treated like a normal 22 year old that is figuring out her life.

So "Emily" time is important to me. I have so much going on in my mind and running is a time when no one can interupt me or ask me to do something else. I reflect upon my past, future, and my beliefs.

I'm not sure why others work out, but I know mine is deeper than looking good in my jeans.